@Spooferman_: Divorced couples have two chromosomes. Ex and why.
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@delusions_of: I'm like a Rubik's Cube. Seems fun at first but eventually you'll want to rip me apart.
@suntzufuntzu: Woman on the phone congratulates you for winning "Unknowing Android of the Year." "I'm not an android!" you protest. "Marvelous," she gushes
@jazmasta: [i walk in with broken ribs and face bleeding] yeah but you should see the other guy! [cut to: horse just chilling in a field enjoying life]