@AndyShulk: Do cannibals just upload a bunch of pictures of their friends on Instagram?
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@trevso_electric: If you want to know what a girl will look like in 30 years, stop talking to her and show up to her house in 30 years to check on her.
@ginger_xtc: build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
@noog: Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? "Regular coffee with cream please" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. "TEN?"