@GeauxSaints79: Do cops tell bad guys to freeze in Alaska? Or is it just understood?
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@weinerdog4life: When I'm in a conference room all by myself I like to pretend I'm having a very important meeting with chairs about chair shit.
@HeyZeus666: I’d never snoop through my girlfriend’s phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password.
@ibid78: "Dave's coming over." -Dave from work or Dave that doesn't know how doors work? [doorknob sorta jiggles for like 20 minutes]