@peachesanscream: Do dolphins have tattoos of single mothers on their arses?
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@WetzelGeek: Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering "...it would be so easy..."
@Juicedballs: cw: 4 is allergic to cats & we have a 9yr old cat at home. Sucks me: Getting rid of it? cw: Have to, why? me: Is cats it's only defect?
@Ygrene: [at the park] SON: dad dad what's that in the sky?! (points at helicopter) ME: (forgetting the word helicopter) that son is……a blenderplane