@peachesanscream: Do dolphins have tattoos of single mothers on their arses?
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@SortaBad: *walks into library* "Excuse me, where are your books about asking librarians out on dates?"
@FunkyFresh_79: [on a first date] Ok, don't let her know you're really a squirrel... Her: I had a great time, good night! Me: *runs in front of her car