@peachesanscream: Do dolphins have tattoos of single mothers on their arses?
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@peachesanscream: A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. So would mine, probably, if I was having sex with something made out of bacon.
@Sassafrantz: When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
@wickedsuga: Me: Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon? Coach: Me: Coach: Me: Oh. You said HUDDLE up, didn't you?