@peachesanscream: Do dolphins have tattoos of single mothers on their arses?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AristotlesNZ: Cop: "You been drinkin?" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny "You're free to go.." Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?
@JustDontBugMe: [First Date] M: Hi! Him: Hi, I'm Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable. M: Oh really? *winks* H: You look beautiful today.
@thepunningman: [landlord showing new tenant around] "No smoking allowed" "How about pets?" "That's fine" [dog walks in and lights up] "We'll take it"