@daveexplosm: Do furries go to doctors or vets?
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@Sarcasticsapien: People in love use phrases like "takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet". I think they're confusing love with attempted murder.
@hazelmotes1: My daughter doesn't know I put the last pudding cup in her lunch earlier this evening, so she won't know I took it out and am eating it now.
@HatfieldAnne: My strong stance on drinking milk straight from the carton has met with no opposition from people who haven’t caught me yet.
@Zwolf666: Stephen Hawking's worn out two pair of shoes since the last time my co-worker said something intelligent.