@Molly_Kats: Do I feel like crying? HELL YES LET'S DO THIS 'THE FAULT IN OUR STARS'
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@offbeatoliv: Sister: "Family shot time" Me: "Whooo Hoooo....drink drink drink drink!" Sister: [holds up camera] "I want to take a picture" Me: oh
@Epygma: "Do you want to go out on a date?" *sweats nervously* I C-CAN'T "Why?" *shoots friend next to him* I HAVE TO GO TO A FRIEND'S FUNERAL
@truegritrumble: ME: *passing out little top hats* And this one's for you. And this one's for you ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the penguin enclosure ME: Lol no