@Molly_Kats: Do I feel like crying? HELL YES LET'S DO THIS 'THE FAULT IN OUR STARS'
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@TheMichaelRock: *puts on shirt* *shirt rips because of my muscles* *gets yelled at for ruining 5yo's shirt*
@Carbosly: Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread? The only thing "natural" about this product is the urge to get away from it.
@HughGoesThere: [first day as priest] Me: Do you take this woman as your lawful wedded wife? Him: She's my daughter and this is her baptism. Me: Mazel tov.