@charliesgonenow: Do I have a girlfriend!? Are you kidding me? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TOILET PAPER THOSE THINGS USE!?
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@_GrahamPatrick: MAN: See my tattoo? It says "Only God can judge me." GOD: That shirt with those pants?
@JasonLight73: Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I'm way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!
@SonoLibero_8: Guy asked if I put him in the friend zone. I was like, whoa slow down there. I'll have sex with you, but friendship is a serious commitment.