@becks_bradley: Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector and fire is real.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveSuckington: Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
@snarkweek7: Sometimes I pick another language on the ATM to see if I can make it all the way thru. So I'm still broke, but now also in French.
@david8hughes: [wearing World's Best Dad shirt] Wife: whys there blood on your shirt? Me: its not my blood Guy bleeding out in the yard: its not your shirt
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: what should I do? Dentist: stop eating sugar, drinking coffee and wine, cut back on stress.. Me: right but like realistically