@NoogsCorner: Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."
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@RadOrDie: I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.
@Momtoteens: Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.
@ch000ch: hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
@Social_Mime: Doing word problems as a kid as helped me in adulthood. "Dan doesn't have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"