@NYC_Blonde: Do men prefer straight or curly hair? Need to know so I can tell my roommate the opposite and then try to steal her boyfriend.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: *[pulls back shower curtain] "Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes" Him: "Who the hell are you and should I be scared?"
@ch000ch: [slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] i am also free that day.
@mrtimlong: When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to "make God laugh"? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to "make God some bookshelves."
@JaneBadall: In retrospect, the kidnapping was going according to plan until I blew my nose on the rag I'd soaked with chloroform.