@brianbowman73: Do mermaids clean the sea or how does that work?
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@HeroineAddict: *scrolls ur TL* *finds ur tweet from 2 yrs ago.* *eerily similar to mine from day before* "She stole my tweet AND built a time machine?!"
@apollilaire: i order a pizza online and under special requests i write: "tell me the meaning of life". when the door bell rings there's only an empty box
@robotrowboat: [death row] Okay Johnson, it’s time. Any last requests? Pardon me? I said it’s time, any last—ah I see what you did there, Johnson. Good one