@KyleCrunk: Do not apologize for your dog coming up to me because this is exactly what I wanted
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@TheAlexNevil: "Oh sure. Go down bout a mile, left at the store that's not there anymore, & past the big tree. Can't miss it." -every gas station attendant
@jackiembouvier: Me: So, what are your thoughts? Therapist: Well, I think you may have some boundary issues. Me: [In his lap] Are you saying I'm fat?!
@Naked_Superman: Dentist: Did you deliberately loosen this tooth? Me: Why would I do that? D: ok…[extracts tooth & hands me a lolly] Me: *winks at camera*
@Tommytoughstuff: Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me.