@weinerdog4life: Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet.
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@ScottLinnen: Riding up in the elevator with a bunch of children. So much screaming & crying. You'd think one of them would ask me what the hell's wrong.
@abbycohenwl: Realized I never said "unquote" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare