@weinerdog4life: Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet.
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@Michael_Erhart: Every time you push the potato button on your microwave, a potato appears in someone else's microwave.
@msbhaven81: I tried killing a spider with kindness, but found that a shoe was much more effective
@LibyaLiberty: "So,why r all Arabs terrorists?" 'All?' "Well,most." 'There's 369,243,763 Arabs.If they were mostly terrorists,you'd be dead' #ArabInAmerica