@Bizarro_Mark: Do not tell a kid you didn't understand his joke unless you have 4 hours free to hear the explanation.
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@_Tempo11: Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I'm a big perv.
@Marlebean: [ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! "Toilet paper?!"
@SteveDutzy: I don't mind when a waitress says, "Is Pepsi fine?" when I ask for some coke. But when my drug dealer says it, it's kind of annoying
@mattsurely: "Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!" - people with stupid names