@Scorpio1080: "Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
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@davidkenny100: Pal: wanna impress your wife? Girls love a guy that shaves downstairs Later Wife: David! Why is there hair all over the coffee table!?
@GraceSpelman: My debit card got stolen at the gym which is fine because i will still continue to go so that I can train to fight the person who stole it
@aaronpaul_8: Joe: Yes, that was me. Obama: Please stop. Joe: I will not stop. This room will smell so bad when he gets here. Obama: Joe... Joe: Nope.
@thejessbess: (interviewer): do you have any questions? (me): ya can a werewolf bite really kill a vampire?