@dance_blessed: Do one person every day that scares you.
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@weinerdog4life: If you love something keep it in the refrigerator, keep it fresh, that thing you love is a lot like mayonnaise.
@einsteinsexual: Stereotypes are just like regular types, except every time someone almost kills me, while I'm driving, it's an Asian person.
@batkaren: HIM: You know what we should do at our wedding reception? [at the same time] ME: Murder-suicide HIM: The chicken dance!
@aka_fatman: "I tell you, this car runs like a dream!" I change gears and the gearstick turns into a swan. I turn on the wipers & it rains on the inside.