@atanenhaus: Do other animals have signature tranquilizers, or are horses just especially stressed out?
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@moooooog35: Me: Hey, am I too wrinkly? Daughter: You're old, that's going to happen. Me: I MEANT MY SHIRT.
@KateQFunny: Just got off 30 min phone call w a friend who has twin 2 yr olds, & even tho i havent had sex in a week I'm taking a morning after pill NOW.
@timdonakowski: Pee your name in the snow and you'll quickly understand why they teach cursive in our schools.