@Izianikapani: "Do people really become like their pets?" I wonder, absentmindedly raising a leg above my head and staring into space.
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@delusions_of: My arm bone's connected to my hand bone. My hand bone's connected to a bacon cheeseburger.
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope." "You mean Collider?" "Oh shit!"
@Schroofles: I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies.