@KatieBurnett: Do people who happily announce their pregnancy know they are going to be stuck with a baby afterwards?
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@beardofprey: last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D
@EamonToPlease: My phone just sent me an unsolicited hockey score. Aren't there Japanese horror films that start this way?
@OzCricketFan81: Special shout out to the CIA, who were pouring cold water on people BEFORE the "ice bucket challenge" made it cool