@envydatropic: Do people who swirl and sniff their wine in the glass know that it tastes just the same straight from the bottle? Amateurs.
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@hellominamoo: I'm going to take all of your tweets that make absolutely zero sense and combine them to make a Red Hot Chili Peppers song
@KeetPotato: if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off
@Book_Krazy: Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it's only Wednesday