@HousewifeOfHell: Do people who talk on their phones while driving know you can use driving as an excuse to avoid talking on the phone?
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@AmishPornStar1: Survival Tip: When flipping off your wife behind her back... Make sure she's not standing in front of a mirror.
@weinerdog4life: If you're ever attacked by a bear play deaf, be like "I can't even hear you bear"
@JamColley: I’ve accidentally set up push notifications for the BBC science magazine and it’s like being followed about by an inquisitive but annoying child