@AimeeHelene1: Do poodle owners realize they just bought a dog with a shitty 1980s white girl perm?
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@VeryLonelyLuke: I got mad at a rock today. I chopped it in half with my lightsaber. Now there are two rocks. Send help. Now.
@SoulYodeler: Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, I won't say a word about your "wenital werpes" *winks*
@River_Niles: 2: I no want to eat pasta! It too spicy! Me: Oh ok then 2: I no wan watch Mickey Mouse he too spicy! Me: huh? 2: NO BATH TIME BATH TOO SPICY
@_GrahamPatrick: GUY #1: You free next week? GUY #2: Let me just check my dairy. GUY #1: You mean diary yeah? *cow walks by with "dentist 11.30" on it*