@AimeeHelene1: Do poodle owners realize they just bought a dog with a shitty 1980s white girl perm?
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@MountainDouche: If cops can drive undercover cars, we should be able to drive cop cars. It's only fair.
@BassoonJokes: RIP that guy in the audience of the eric clapton unplugged session whose head literally exploded when he realized the song was "layla"
@BlindChow: Karen, will you marry me? "Ugh. No. Please take me home." *20 minutes of awkward silence as hot air balloon slowly descends*
@CollegeHumor: Apparently the Burger King account is suspended while they think of a stronger password than "horsemeat".