@OhNoSheTwitnt: Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake?
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@RobertManchild: My car is 13 years old. I like how the ceiling fabric hangs down and makes it feel like a blanket fort.
@Playing_Dad: Her: What do you do? Me: I drill for oil. G: That sounds interesting. M: No, it's really... H: Don't do it, I'll leave M:...just boring
@AGreaterMonster: If cupcakes could talk, boy, there sure would be a lot of screaming in my house.
@FunnyTunes: Wife :'Darling, look. I haven't worn this in 8 years and it still fits.' Hubby : It's a scarf!