@OhNoSheTwitnt: Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake?
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@Brampersandon_: PREACHER: any prayer requests? 3 DUCKS IN A TRENCHCOAT (from the last pew): do the one about our daily bread
@KrissiBex: I love kids...But stop making me hold your baby. Why are you letting people touch your new born?!? I don't let people touch my new iPhone
@JoePetroske: Interview Tip: When you get the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question, don't say "post-apocalyptic tribal warlord".
@robfee: I would watch a reality show that's nothing but goth kids trying not to smile while riding on a jet ski.