@OhNoSheTwitnt: Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake?
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@AimeeHelene1: Pretty sure HR is going to be paying me a visit, thanks to the CW that emailed to thank me for "all the services I provided them".
@gruffybeard: Her: I need a living will. Me: *wiping blood off knife* I've got a dead Steve. Close enough?
@iGreenMonk: I dont care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.