@ch000ch: do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don't have to be there
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@djdarrellripley: Her: Oh, please... You'll make a pass at anything in a skirt. Me: Yeah, last night a Scotsman nearly killed me!
@Lakelandr: There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
@TattedChanel: So Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after yelling at his kids on a flight. Better send my mum to the electric chair then.