@TheMichaelRock: Do women know that it's perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
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@david8hughes: [shipwreck diary] Day 3: dude next to me can hold his breath for 3 days. Going on 4. Very impressive.
@Pundamentalism: The saddest thing about trying to find a needle in a haystack is that your horse is hiding a drug habit from you.
@shawnspree: Is this the movie where a down and out coach is given a chance of a lifetime to turn these nobodies and misfits into a winning team?
@CatherineLMK: Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.