@mjkspeaks: Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
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@IAmMaggieMull: The idea that someone would be upset NOT to be invited to a wedding is so confusing to me.
@D2BMcG: Do you remember when the most annoying thing on the Internet was a dancing baby? Yeah, good times
@PrincessAlexx_: Sending 17 text messages explaining why you're not crazy seems a little counterintuitive.
@InternetHippo: Me: Going to stop being mad. Maybe take up meditation Person in front of me at Chipotle: I'm ordering for 5 people Me: I will kill you