@mjkspeaks: Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
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@charrrllaa: I don't understand people with anchor tattoos that say, "I refuse to sink." It's a damn anchor! It's supposed to sink! What am I missing?
@timk927: Saying someone is doing something "like a boss" to me is an insult because my boss does things half assed & incorrectly then blames others
@FatherWithTwins: Stickiest things in the world: 3) Lollipops 2) Glue 1) Children's library books
@anjadrisch: I can't remember where I parked my car an hour ago but I can recall how stupid I was at 20. Please God erase that memory & bring back my car