@rachelle_mandik: do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?
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@DaddyJew: I put the D in donut. And I do it quickly before any of my coworkers return to the break room *giggles*
@hardlyrelevant: "Oh, Monster TRUCK rally. Haha of course..." *Frankenstein slowly backs out of the room, hiding a 24 pack of condoms behind his back*
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?
@Parkerlawyer: Hubs left his Amazon account open on the laptop and I swear to God if I'm getting a lawnmower for Mother's Day there will be bloodshed.