@rachelle_mandik: do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?
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@tuckerflodman: [halftime] Coach: Okay men we're literally losing at basketball to a dog... any ideas? -I have one. *pulls out vacuum with a jersey on*
@DancesWithTamis: "Hola! I'm Señor Coconut, children" [cracks head on the pavement. Children scream] "Drink me. Drink me. I'm full of vitamins and minerals"