@rachelle_mandik: do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?
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@thejamietighe: Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE? Neighbour: Get out of my house! Me: You're not even guessing.
@jonnysun: "911 wats ur emergency" hi-- huh? um-- so, uh-- ah. oh geez. well im only just now realizimg that the girl at the bar gave me a fake number
@MissNaughty1801: *approaches man sitting at the bar Me: would you like to dance Him: yeah! Me: that's great because I need to sit down