@youcancallmesim: Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
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@Rollmaninoz: Me: Will my girlfriend be ok using Chanel 5 if she's never used Chanel 1-4 Salesgirl: *into walkie talkie* security he's back here again
@M3lissaMcDonald: I just spent the last four hours connecting all of my watches together to make a belt. Complete waist of time.
@AmericanGent69: *holds flashlight under chin Me: suddenly the mystery of... Son: haha Dad has like 3 chins *drops flashlight Me: SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!
@OtherDanOBrien: [2 toads chillin'] Yo, we should start a rumor that if u lick us you'll get high. "Whaaaat, that's genius." We gon’ get mad licked, son.