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@8bitf0x: do you guys have PC & cheese? i'm not really a mac guy
@envydatropic: Coffee is cheaper than bail
Starbucks - You sure about that?
@HomeProbably: Who called them accountants and not sumbodies?
@Reverend_Scott: Before you reply to a tweet, take a deep breath.
Now hold it.
Keep holding it...
@shutupmikeginn: If you're ever bored in a taxi I recommend mouthing, "Help Me" to strangers and watching their facial expressions
@daemonic3: [during sex]
HER: I want you to make me scream
ME: *tosses spider onto her chest*