@8bitf0x: do you guys have PC & cheese? i'm not really a mac guy
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@yayraptor: [at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building
@ShockTartBionic: Your baby's got pink eye, bronchitis AND a double ear infection? Are you even trying to keep him alive?
@TheMichaelRock: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie where Bill Murray yells at a giant marshmallow man for stepping on a church.
@ilovepie84: I only shave half my face in case that I get arrested so that they will have two different side profile pictures.