@Laser_Cat: Do you Karen promise to love and to cherish Mark, always put the toilet paper on the roll over the top, and not leave crumbs in the butter?
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@DirtyMelodies: I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me.
@topaz_kell: [job interview] Interviewer: "Do you have any questions for me?" Me: "How strong is the wifi signal in the restroom?" Interviewer:
@Bearslietoo: Noticed a spider while I was driving,so I did what any normal person would do and carefully trapped it in a napkin and set my car on fire.