@rachelle_mandik: Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
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@9GAG: Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
@IAmMikeFeeney: "Excellent choice, sir. And what temperature would you like me to microwave your steak to?" - The Honest Applebees Server
@tacos_y_cerveza: CW: Can I ask you something? Me: Don't talk to me until I've had coffee. CW: But you don't drink coffee. Me: *smiles and continues to work
@LeaMehanna: Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine