@Lisa_Laughs_: Do you like them? I made them from scratch. Do you want one? - me introducing my kids to strangers.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: It's hum.. [30 min later] Cop: So you stapled his lips?
@Hobo_Splendido: Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
@stockejock: Grandma, stop asking people what they're supposed to be for Halloween-this is Walmart.
@JediGigi: Lady, your baby needs to chill. This is MY Binky. I found it fair and square after "someone" threw it on the ground. Finders keepers.