@samalmightysam: Do you like water? Yes? Well, then you already like 60% to 70% of me.
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@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
@Shock_Monster: Hostess: Table for one? Me: More like TABLE FOR FUN, AMIRITE? Hostess: ... Me: ... Hostess: ... Me: Yes, one please.
@Quartzjixler: My office manager emailed all 400 employees to inform us that our new paper towel dispensers AREN'T automatic. The human race is doomed.