@tropicalenvy: Do you people like your catfish battered and deep fried?
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@TylerLinkin: Paris Hilton’s chihuahua Tinkerbell died yesterday. Purses are being held at half-mast.
@lizetagge: Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
@cbdoubleu: "Are you seeing anyone?" Me: lately I've been seeing this squiggly floaty thing on my peripheral vision. Floaty thing: We're just friends.
@SequelsWeWant: Monsters, Inc. 3: It's harder to make kids laugh The Internet has made them jaded The monster need help They teach the kids to smoke pot