@teenpuke: do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhatevaConc: If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news.
@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid's first birthday.
@1BigMick: When I drop my son off at school I do one arm pushups at the entrance to let the other dads know that's what's up. But they're all at work.
@SlickestOfRicks: "Maybe connect two monocles together? Pretty good idea. I have to write this down." - the guy that invented the pen