@WheelTod: Do you realize that if real women had the same proportions as Barbie they'd be only 11.5 inches tall?
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@NoogsCorner: Cop: Have you been drinking sir? Me: Medium Double Quarter Pounder meal please. Cop: Step out of the vehicle. Me: Sprite.
@AndyAsAdjective: [at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no