@NoahJWatkins: "Do you smell the updoc?", I say to my pet bunny. My bunny replies with silence. I know that someday he will say it and I am willing to wait
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@Carbosly: [in a bar] Him: Trouble is my middle name. Me: wow... That's a stupid middle name. You must hate your parents. Him: *breaks down crying
@MommaUnfiltered: The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years.