@PersianCeltic: Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
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@Tommytoughstuff: Career day: Hi kids I'm Bills Dad and I work at the local morgue. Who wants to pet a dead body?"
@natedog2049: Fun fact: When swimming upstream, salmon can jump up as high as 6 feet. Unless its a white salmon.
@huntigula: Jesus: He who is without sin may cast the first stone *guy with no legs throws rock* Jesus: Seriously? "You said 'without shins,' right?"