@PersianCeltic: Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
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@musculardog: People change. Except for that homeless guy down the street. Pretty sure he's had the same clothes on since the 90's.
@briancthayer: *gazing at the ocean* God: I told you NOT to leave the water on while we were on vacation. Angel: I'm sorr- God: SORRY DOESN'T FIX THIS MESS
@shutupmikeginn: The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK
@DaddyJew: I just watched one kid call his twin brother ugly and now I'm just waiting for him to realize what that means