@ericsshadow: Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
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@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@Phillylawyer7: Dirty Dancing is my favorite movie about a girl who cannot dance at all, but wins a dance competition because her partner has a great mullet
@rhysjamesy: Bae: come over Me: I can't, I'm hanging out with your parents. Bae: my parents aren't home. Me: I know. I just... You never listen Susan.