@rachelle_mandik: do you think the guy who designed hand grenades really hated pineapples, or really loved them?
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@Macar00ny: Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like "is this about me?" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like "is that about me?"
@AngelaEhh: Why are people giving something up for lint? I'm sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more.
@dafloydsta: DOG: Then he said "Who's a good boy?" DOG THERAPIST: *nodding* You are of course DOG: *wagging tail* I KNOW BUT WHY DOES HE KEEP ASKING?
@Shock_Monster: Driving back from funeral yesterday: Stairway To Heaven *click* Tears In Heaven *click* Highway To Hell *click* Macarena! *leaves it*