@rachelle_mandik: do you think the guy who designed hand grenades really hated pineapples, or really loved them?
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@librarianfonz: There are gravy trains and boats. I wonder what gravy did to get on a no-fly list.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: *reclines* Nice Wife: I still can't believe you bought a used gynecological exam table Me: I can see the tv perfectly between my legs
@batkaren: They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS
@Black__Elvis: My girlfriend accused me of sleeping with her sister and I was like, "How can that be possible when her snoring keeps me up all night?"