@InternetHippo: "Do you want to have fun but also get more mad than you've ever been in your life?" - video games
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pleatedjeans: [couple tossing baby back and forth] [music stops] judge: custody granted dad: [holding baby] AW DAMMIT
@Amburglar_: When asked by the creepy guy at the bar "Why aren't you smiling?" my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."
@astutenewf: 12: Dad, if Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of god, didn't Mary have a little lamb? Me: And you came with a no return policy
@Adar79Angie: I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.