@InternetHippo: "Do you want to have fun but also get more mad than you've ever been in your life?" - video games
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@TylerLinkin: I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!
@NotThatKristi: We're adults. It's bad enough we selfie. Don't make it worse with the surprise face selfie
@Parentpains: The only standards I have in life are about the quality of alcohol I consume, and even that gets sketchy after about 5 drinks.
@corysnearowski: My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night