@pleatedjeans: [doc pulls baby out of mom and immediately slides it under his shirt] oh no NOW I'M PREGNANT haha no [pulls it out] just kidding here you go
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@Eightinchgoat: Whoever said "The best things in life are free" obviously knew a very unsuccessful coke dealer.
@pixelatedboat: Doctors recommend that you drink 8 glasses of water a day and don't fall out of a helicopter
@carlyken: Look Disney all I'm saying is that if my stepdaughter brought a bunch of birds and mice into my mansion I'd make her clean up that shit too.
@KimmyMonte: *comes into work with black eye* oh please I'm fine guys! But you shoulda seen the other guy. He was a cabinet door that i walked into