@dksc4life: DOCTOR [hitting me with his car] This is for not eating that apple
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WheelTod: [Interview] "Why'd you leave ur last job?" My boss felt threatened by me [Flashback to juggling lighters after dousing boss in gasoline]
@P1ssed_K1d: Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels. #circuseverydamnday
@pplwtching: Stuck in traffic? We have the solution for you... Call customer service so all your vulgarities aren’t wasted.