@lakeanagirl: Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka should qualify just fine.
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@TheMichaelRock: Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
@kelkulus: Apple has solved laptop theft by making them obsolete by the time thieves get out the door.
@TheDairylandDon: Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust.