@LuvPug: Doctor: serious side effects of this medication can include death
Me: I'll take it
@ch000ch: *hitler leans in close to the mic* and the next person to question me gets executioned
*grammar nazi bites lip*
@joe_binkley: Things that are loud:
Opening a bag of Sun Chips at a funeral
@PaperWash: In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters.
@vexroid: Cell phone.
Not at work.
This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell.
@Swishergirl24: The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?