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@Kauaibride: Doctor told me I need glasses. So I'm having several tonite.
@SSparklesDaily: Salad is the decaf of food.
@AnimalSavages: Me as a dad
@SweetTweetsBRO: Trees have done a lot of shady things in their lives.
@MatCro: NURSE: She's in a coma. She's been on hungerstrike
[boyfriend walks in with just enough chips for himself]
PATIENT: *Opens one eye*
@briangaar: HELLO 911, I NEED TO REPORT A HALO SCORE THAT'S "CRIMINALLY" HIGH LOL!!!! ... yes you can talk to my mom