@Kauaibride: Doctor told me I need glasses. So I'm having several tonite.
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@MichaelTrying: My behavior when there is a mosquito in the car while I’m driving suggests I am willing to die in order to kill a mosquito.
@Reverend_Scott: DOCTOR: Push again, the baby is- MOTHER: IS SOMETHING WRONG? DOCTOR: [holding phone] No, I just caught a Jigglypuff up in there.
@ArfMeasures: [being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on