@Kauaibride: Doctor told me I need glasses. So I'm having several tonite.
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@fro_vo: Me: I don’t know what to do on my date Friend: show her some local culture [later] Date: hi Me: *holds out hands* look at this yogurt
@JustDontBugMe: Look, kid, sorry I ate your ice cream out of your hand but at the rate you were licking, it was either gonna be me or the ground.
@MadamBetteNoire: Teaching your kids to question everything is important. Until you're sitting there banging your head on the table.