@Tierno158: Doctors in Zurich, Switzerland, in a 14-hour operation, successfully separated the conjoined Facebook account of a husband and wife.
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@liv_thatsme: *writes kid's name in sharpie on arm every morning instead of getting tattoo just in case they end up being a disappointment*
@AndyAsAdjective: My fly was down the entire day & I didn't notice. So I'm taking him out for drinks after work. Hopefully that'll help cheer him up a bit.
@AverageCorners: Someday, when I'm really old, I hope I can sit my grandchildren around my rocking chair and text them pearls of wisdom.
@DepecheALAmode: Moths are really just butterflies on meth, all angry and shit while head-butting light bulbs and biting holes in your favorite shirt.