@ShtFatGirlsSay: Doctors say eating a piece of Bacon takes 9 mins off your life...if my math is correct i died in 1781
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@EJGomez: teacher: "there are no stupid questions" me: "ya ok but why isnt the plural of moose, meese"
@The_Sculptress: If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact.
@WildeThingy: Freddie Mercury: "Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: "Perfect!" *snorts another line of coke*
@iamspacegirl: FISHING TRIP Joseph *casting his line*: Son, your mother thinks it's time I tell you- You're agodpted. Jesus *runs across the lake crying*