@juneohara65: Doctors who expect me to pee on command, I'm not some kind of stunt pee-er, you know.
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@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast "they're eating dog food"
@OBiiieeee: BOSS: why are you so late? ME: i definitely wasnt up until 4am watching Hey Arnold ha-ha BOSS: well i was and i got here on time
@AGreaterMonster: When I was ten I played Secret Agent with my little brother. Turns out toddlers do not make good grappling hooks.