@juliussharpe: Documentaries must provide 90% of the employment for violin players.
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@FullMetalMommy: Chin up divorced people; lots of us smug married parents envy your 50/50 custody agreement.
@KeetPotato: me: "we commemorate the day you died every year" jesus: "thats nice, what's the day called?" me: jesus: me: jesus: "keith?" me: "bad friday"
@dazedandsincere: My mom just told me she's been watching that "Game of Thongs" show. Gawd I hope she's just saying it wrong.
@AristotlesNZ: I don't know how you women do it. Every time I try to "sleep my way to the top" I get woken up and sent to HR.